What Your Title Really Means

What your title really means:

Executive Assistant: You hold the keys to the kingdom. Milk it for all its worth.

Manager: Honestly, do you really manage anything? This is for the people who have surpassed the Account Executive-esque titles, but are still a LONG step away from being a Director. This title is also for those who don’t want the “fun”, extra responsibilities that come along with being a Director. You know, like “volunteering” on New Year’s Eve to be part of the Welcoming Committee.

Director: One step away from VP. Too bad it will be a step many years in the making. Oh, and while you’re taking that step, prepare to work a crap load of hours.

Executive Director: You’ve been with the company forever. But, you suck at managing people and haven’t come up with an original, trail blazing idea, in well, ever. We can’t promote you to VP, but after so many years, we had to give you something.

Vice President: Yeah, you’re cool, but you’ll never be as cool as the President. Plus, you still have to ask, “How high?” when the President tells you to jump.

President: Yes, it’s cool that you’re Mr. All Powerful. But, you have to make all the tough decisions like who to fire and what to get everyone for Christmas.

3 Comments

  1. Adam kmiec says:

    great post, absolutely loved it. I think one of the reasons many people leave a company is because of the gap that exists between what title/role they think they deserve and what the company gives them. Personally, you could call me the janitor, pay me 1.5 million a year and I’d be quite happy. That said the title I’ve always wanted is Supreme Allied Commander.

  2. Irish Rose says:

    I think more people leave because of the gap between how often people *think* they should be acknowledged for their contributions vs. how often the company actually acknowledges them. People need a “pat on the back” more than they need an infrequent promotion.

    If you paid me $1.5MM, you could call me whatever your heart desired. Personally, I like Ruler of the Universe. Chief Interrupter amuses me as well.

  3. […] Note Taker: This person is usually some one’s Executive Assistant. Like I’ve mentioned before, she holds the keys to the kingdom. Not only does she attend every top level meeting, but she also […]

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