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Forgiveness is a funny thing. Wikipedia says it is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. My whole life, I’ve waited and waited for others to forgive me for the wrongs that I did to them. Yet, most of the time, people don’t easily or on their own say, “I forgive you”, even when asked.
Today I realized that if you think that someone needs to say, “I forgive you” for you to move on, you’re wrong. The real person who you need forgiveness from is yourself. It’s not the other person holding you back or torturing you, it’s you.
In thinking about it, the Jews have been slyly doing this for centuries. It’s called Yom Kippur. On this day, you’re supposed to publicly and privately ask forgiveness of everyone you wronged throughout the year. At one point in the service, you even hit your chest ten times as you ask for forgiveness. On this day, everyone you ask forgiveness from is supposed to accept it and provide forgiveness. Then, by the end of the day, you are absolved not only by your fellow human beings, but also by God. It’s genius. These people have set aside a whole day once a year where they “must” forgive themselves. Yet, it is designed so they feel like others are forgiving them. With that belief they are thus able to forgive themselves.
This year, Yom Kippur starts at sundown on September 17. But, I’m starting early. Today, I’m forgiving myself instead of waiting. Because, in life, the only person who can make you feel bad or guilty or worthless is yourself. The only person who can keep you in “jail” is yourself.
Dear Me,
I forgive you.
Love,
Me
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